[groan] sweet [groan]

On the road again, now I'm back in the original stomping grounds of 2/3 of the speak™ family - the C-H-I! I rarely come home to visit, mainly because I'm too cheap to pay a $30 cover charge to get in the club, I'm not a bar guy (unless Zero K is in the vicinity) and having my mama trying to set me a curfew is just not cool. I'm a grown ass man, dawg... I pays my own bills and wipes my own ass... now what you know about that?!! With that being said, I try to squeeze a month's worth of activities into a few days time (there are many people skipped during this process - don't take it personal). I have to hang out with the fam, play with the munchkin crew (my nieces and nephews) and catch a free meal or two. I also have to see Mr. H and find out what new beat he's created in his studio... and find my way to Harold’s on 87^th St. to pick up a pizza puff with mild sauce (for you non-Chicagoans, Harold’s Chicken Shack is undeniably the one reason that there are obese Black people in the Windy City at all). To make a long story short, I make the most of my time.

Unfortunately, when I’m home and some people are unavailable, bad things happen. I generally spend too much time on my cell phone, calling and text-messaging people for long chats about nothingness. Hey, I’m bored out of my freakin’ mind, what do you expect? In the past, I’d cut my losses and go visit the friend I know truly cares about me, the trusty computer. But alas, my mama cut off my connection to the Information Super Highway and left me to fend for myself in the darkness. I dare not try watching TV. Why you might ask? Well, for starters, I truly believe my family is one of the few left in the world that does not have cable. No, we are not Amish. These people subject me to grainy pictures of local news, Wheel of Fortune and PBS marathons of BBC television… but thankfully, the biggest movie collection in the greater 48 states is located in my household. To combat boredom, I need to compile a list of movies to watch so that I’m not brain-dead by the end of the weekend.

Right now I have:

Friday - “The f*** you stealing boxes for? What you trying to build, a clubhouse?!"

Boomerang - Damn, I wanted to be Marcus Graham! {DISCLAIMER.... except when he got with Lady Eloise...}

love jones - "I’m the blues in your left thigh, tryna become the funk in your right…"

Old School - "Blue, you're my boy!"

Wedding Crashers - "Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bull’s-eye."

Jason's Lyric - Jada. Nekkid. Enough Said.

Menace II Society - "Look at m****f***** wheelz..."

Scarface - "Say hello to my lil' friend..."

The Usual Suspects - "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist."

Coming to America – There are so many parts in the movie that I bust up laughing at; it’s ridiculous.

Help me out, please… I need some submissions that are guaranteed to combat boredom. Needless to say, it’s my sanity at sake here. It’s either watching movies or the 82^nd edition of the [insert random daytime talk-show] Datz Not My Baby Momma. Man cannot live on Maury alone…

That’s it for me until Tuesday... don't make me end up like this.

Jorge