Jorge's note/introduction:
What's up, everybody? I hope all is well. Today's guest blog was written by my good friend, Groupies Say I'm 2 Choosey. This cat is EXTREMELY hilarious. I hope you all enjoy it as much I have. Without much further ado, THE KWESTIONS!
So, here's the scenario, you're in a good 3 or 4 week long friendship with that special gent/lady and things are going just fine and dandy - maybe a little smoochin' between the movie and the dinner, polite whispers during the cab ride, making you giggle but keeping the taxi driver suspicious as to just what the hell is so funny all in all, life's just looking great. The air smells fresh when you wake up and it seems you're feeling on top of the world as far as this dating thing.
All of sudden, then come the questions.
I can only speak from a male's point of view but I would like to open this up to the women to see if it works in reverse. Ladies, there are a series of questions that just might turn any great friend/courtship into a ticking time bomb of emotion and leads to imminent doom. And just a tip, just because you start the question with don't take this the wrong way or I don't want you freaking out and looking too far into it, but I was just wondering doesn't mean it takes the effect off of the inquiries.
For each of the questions, I provide 3 responses:
a. Tell her what she wants to hear for things to go further. Sometimes the guy is after the goods so bad, he'll stretch the truth (not my recommendation).
b. Tell her what she needs to hear for things to end tonight. Sometimes that's the guy's best bet, trust me.
c. Tell her what I want to tell her to keep things just as simple and plain as they were this morning in my eye (i.e. the most logical response).
1) Where do you see this going?
a. Honestly, I have never felt like this with anyone in the short time we've been doing this I feel like I'm closer to you than I am to my own self.
b. Whoa, you are really rushing things, I like you as a friend and I thought the reason we got along so well was because there was no sexual tension between us at all.
c. What we have going is rare and I think one of the reasons is we don't put a label on it or have any expectations I don't like to think of tomorrow if I woke up smiling today. Like the Fresh Prince said, if it ain't broke then, don't try to what? That's right, fix it.
2) Did you miss me?
a. Did the sun rise this morning? Of course I missed you; I missed you before you even left.
b. Come on now, are you gonna go girlie on me? We're just chillin', you know that.
c. If I did or if I didn't you're here now, aren't you? Let's order, I'm starving.
3) When was the last time you *insert desired verb* another girl besides me?
a. Wow, it's been a while - maybe 3 or 4 months?
b. Does today count?
c. So now we're playing the let's check his past game - I am here with you now, aren't I? Let's order, I'm starving.
4) What do you tell your friends about what we do?
a. Nothing, you're my special secret.
b. Nothing, we're not really doing anything worth mentioning to them
c. Nothing, I really don't want to put pressures on either of us by spreading how much fun this is. Let's order, I'm starving.
5) How do you feel about me?
a. Well, honestly I don't know if I can sum it up in words. I'd say I need you in my life like the world needs the sun and everyday although I know the horizon is a visual description of you leaving me, it's still the most beautiful site to my eyes and I know that in just a few hours, you'll come back to me again
b. Why does every girl want to know that? I feel however you think I feel.
c. I feel like your curiosity is going to ruin your appetite, let's order - you know the rest.
LOL, that is basically an exact look inside of the male mind. Depending on who the female is and how much we value our relationship with her, she'll get certain answers. With me, my close female friends who I can be straight with usually get answer "c", annoying girl from my cousin's cookout gets answer "b", and "a" usually goes to chick I met when I was visiting friends in Miami because I know I'll never see after this weekend. Now that I think about it, have I ever used "a"....?
ReplyDeleteThat was hilarious....just like a n@#%^a to focus solely on food.
ReplyDeletePHS, I'm with you...
ReplyDeleteI try to never answer A.
B only occurs when I feel I have to give an answer.
C is the one when I want to be really REAL...
In the game of game, you have to be well-versed in The Kwestions - otherwise you'll never find the answers...
LMAO This is frickin' hilarious!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen the roles are reversed (yes, there are some guys out there that ask... let's just say interesting questions) depending on my mood and feelings for the guy, I will say one of the three types of responses you spelled out. I too try to stay in the "c" category, but in the past I've had to deal out a few "b's".
On the contrary...
That "c" response can get SO annoying at times to a female, 'cause basically if a female even takes the time out to discuss the situation at hand that means that in her mind there's a possiblity that a change is about to occur. So, to a female the guy is coming across as ignoring her thoughts and/or maybe even coming across as controlling with the "c" response.
Damn.So at what age do the answers from a. become the truth and not just an attempt to get the skins?
ReplyDeleteGirls can be very emotional man. I grew up with 4 brothers who schooled me well, making me far from the average chic especially when it comes to relationships. My brothers always told me the biggest problem with girls is they ask too many questions & they never know when to leave!
ReplyDeleteActually PHS, recent statistics show that majority of the annoying girls from cookouts of cousins do receive answer 'b' in most situations. Don't feel like you're alone in this.
ReplyDeletehahaha... too many questions and don't know when to leave are hand-in-hand.
ReplyDeleteWithout some of the awkward questions, guys will let you hang around til.. dare I say it... 10 a.m.!!! That's right, after everyone's awake and knows that if you leave his apartment wearing last night club clothes you DEFINITELY didn't stop at home and probably haven't changed your draws. It's all related to the kwestions.
And this is why I love [insert whatever she calls herself now]. I had four older brothers too. I think I grew up much the same way!
ReplyDeleteMuch respect your BlogFatherness
ReplyDeleteClassic I need to print this one out as well!!! there are what i called the ackward Questions... lol good post... One more blog on my to-do list!!
ReplyDeleteShhhhhush!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't leak the secret that the words out of a man's mouth have nothing to do compared to the body's reaction to the questions... that's not fair!
If we don't have the freedom to stare off into space and lie to you face to floor cuz face to face isn't comfortable... what shall we do with our self!? Keep those thoughts inside or trust me i know someone who knows someone who can silence you
LOL - Well with all that said, I wanna know who's payin? Cuz if you starvin, and she's payin, she might want some real answers before she keeps diggin in her purse, ya feel me ? Please don't take offense, that's just from a female's point of view (one who gets tired of payin for dates -even dutch - and going home confused)...
ReplyDeleteBut I get ya point. I honestly, wish I didn't ask questions like that... it understandably is annoying, but there's just something about seeing your reaction (no matter what you say - they body speaks voulmes), that keeps a sista like me curious. And I know, if a dude starting comin at me with all those questions and I'm tryin to eat, I wouldn't be feelin him much longer...
I don't think there's anything wrong with asking questions right off...I like to ask questions to make sure we're on the same page, just so I don't get inconsistent ideas in my head about what I've gotten into. I think folk should just stop being so scary and tell the truth--if you answer in a way I don't like, I can move on and so can you...it would save a lot of future drama, IMO.
ReplyDeleteI'm writing down some of those answers and I'm going to use it as a cheat sheet.
ReplyDeleteI feel you, Brown Skin Lady. Believe me, we (guys) really wish we could be as honest with some women as we are with others. It just doesn't work that way. In my experience, when it comes to dating, people hear what they want to hear. Some females (I'm sure it's the same with some guys...I wouldn't know) will still try to push the relationship into whatever direction they want it to go in no matter what the guy says.
ReplyDeleteI think it's always okay to ask some questions so that way there's no confusion in the relationship at all and everyone can be clear on what the terms are. Because when you start assuming certain things.....that's when the confusion steps in. I'm all about honesty in relationships, I like them to tell me as it is no lies, no fakeness, just the real straight truth. That way there's no confusion at all, and if one party doesn't like what's going on they are free to move on to search for the right person for them.
ReplyDeletewe don't know....you may have some kind of wierd ass fetish. People are crazy and we just wanna make sure that we are not reeling in the "Silence Of The Lambs" type. But i will agree a little...to many damn questions will get on your nerves but i rather get on your nerves then get on your "to kill" list
ReplyDeleteHAHA... Now Ladies... what have we learned from this.
ReplyDeleteThat's right... someone should ask Uncle $ticky how his finger nails got so dirty
I never have to handle such questions, as it's hard for my date to talk with the Duct tape onso tight. Plus the fact that most of my past dates took out restraining orders on me, makes it hard to shout questions back and forth across the 500 ft required by law.
ReplyDeleteOther than that I think all you females are swell.
I never have to handle such questions, as it's hard for my date to talk with the Duct tape onso tight. Plus the fact that most of my past dates took out restraining orders on me, makes it hard to shout questions back and forth across the 500 ft required by law.
ReplyDeleteOther than that I think all you females are swell.
All I can say is...um, let's order. I'm starving.
ReplyDeleteBut those questions don't screen for serial killer-ism (or serial killer-ness... never really was good with words)... they just open that part of the male mind that's locked and kept private and protected by a tuff layer of security we call 'lies' :)
ReplyDeleteA tip to check for those with a 'to kill' list is to check the negro's finger nails. If you see signs that he's had a struggle lately, ask him what that's all about. Watch his eyes, if they flench for half a second and you feel like he thinks you're on to him... just blurt out 'ahh damn, you got a sanitary napkin on you or somethin? i just got my flow just now' and you're guaranteed to never see him again.
Why do the questions come up? Is it insecurity? Is it curiousity? Just wondering.
ReplyDeleteMost women i know don't ask questions they wait till your ready to tell them,
ReplyDeletesome women want learn as time goes on.
Now with some women there is no right way to answer any question LOL. But always tell the truth they would respect you more in the end if it don't work out.
Well, to comment on your question Jorge, basically its a little of both depending on the girl of course. A girl may feel insecure cause she might be feeling you more than your feeling her, or she may just honestly be curious about what you feel about her and the situation you share (whatever it may be). This whole dating thing is so stressful cause people play so many games. As I got older, I thought that all the game playing would stop cause afterall we are all adults, but I learned that they don't stop...they just change. The biggest problem is that no one wants to be honest. A common misconception with guys is that they have to sugar coat everything for girls, when honestly I will respect you way more if you are just honest with me about the situation from the jump. Let me know what I may be getting myself into and then I have the choice of deciding wheter or not I want to get myself into it. Sometimes it maybe something we don't want to hear, but we will definitely respect you more if you just keep it real. But no matter what, the questions will never end. Its just something you have to deal with if you are going to date.
ReplyDeleteLadyE... the boyfriend/boo/man/mandigo companion type are immune to this belief. They've been brainwashed and given up in the race for mental happiness and accepted you for who you are. Haha... just kiddin, Keep him and keep him happy :)
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this......all I can say is that I REALLY appreciate my boyfriend!!! He lets me ask all the questions I want and he gives me TRUE answers, which sometimes are A's, B's, & C's. Depending on the question!
ReplyDeleteThe rule of thumb I always go with is only ask the questions I REALLY want the answers to. Saves a whole lot of heartache. lol
ReplyDeleteI feel that you learn less from what a person says and more from what they do. I tend to follow the rule: Never ask questions you don't want to know the answers to. 'Nuff said...
ReplyDeleteCheck his finger nails.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely hilarious...lol...I must say that I have been guilty in asking some of those questions and will make a mental note not to anymore..but oddly enough I have gone out with this one dude a couple of times recently and hes asked me a couple of them, and Im thinking, "dude" why are you asking me this........so I should probably think the same when the shoe is on the other foot. Great blog.....much needed.....especially when you are trying to make life "simple" so to speak for your significant other. peace on that
ReplyDeleteApplaud this woman!
ReplyDeleteToo many times I've travelled to visit someone only to hear them say 'did you really want to be here?' and it's like 'duuh... I'm here, what kinda question is that?'. I love to say the phrase "listen to what I tell you, not what I say" just to confuse people because it's so easy to lie when saying something that it doesn't even matter what comes outta my mouth sometimes. In fact, I don't even believe myself right now.
WOW!!
ReplyDeleteThats some real shit right there...
But I opt for the truth in all situations regardless of the outcome so give me all the B answers...