Good morning/afternoon, speak™ readers. I am feeling rather introspective this morning, as I was demolished by a milk truck on the way to work – but that's neither here or there. To me, what is important today are the many thoughts swimming through my mind. I reflected back to a conversation I had with my friend, Lady in the Streets. Lady informed me that she was having trouble finding a man that matched her personality and could conquer her stubborn ways.
Here is an excerpt from that conversation:
Lady: Jorge, what's wrong with me? I'm having so much trouble finding a good man because I'm an opinionated woman.
Jorge: [half-paying attention; we've had this conversation more than once] Huh? What did you say? I was watching the game.
Lady: I'm serious. I can never find a man who can give me what I want.
Jorge: [mumbling inaudible comments – still watching the game] Why is that?
Lady: I need a take-charge type of man, one who doesn't take no for an answer.
Jorge: So you want to someone to make your choices for you?
Lady: No – I just want someone who can put me in check when I need it…
Jorge: How do you know when you need it?
Needless to say, that conversation went back and forth for a good thirty minutes and I still didn't understand her point. Lady definitely was an opinionated woman who would argue anyone down who dared defy her thoughts (even if they were wrong) but yet she wanted a man that the ability to quell her opinion. Scenarios like that generally end up in bad situations – just because you can never be sure when he/she wants to be subdued. In the real world, no does not always mean no. Sometimes no just means not now, but maybe after more "assistance".
I am not the dude that is about to suffer the consequences of misconceptions.
I meant yeah, but I said no – you're supposed to know the difference. How is one supposed to decipher what the difference is? Is today Reverse Day, like bad is good? This frustrates me to no end but I can't say that I haven't submitted to that way of bass-ackwards thinking either. In certain situations, I have been prone to pull a "you should know" out of my pocket…
Nevertheless, the blog today is not about what I feel – it's about sparking conversation. Does no always mean no? When is OK for it to be yes? How does one know the difference? Speak your mind...
- Jorge
Here is an excerpt from that conversation:
Lady: Jorge, what's wrong with me? I'm having so much trouble finding a good man because I'm an opinionated woman.
Jorge: [half-paying attention; we've had this conversation more than once] Huh? What did you say? I was watching the game.
Lady: I'm serious. I can never find a man who can give me what I want.
Jorge: [mumbling inaudible comments – still watching the game] Why is that?
Lady: I need a take-charge type of man, one who doesn't take no for an answer.
Jorge: So you want to someone to make your choices for you?
Lady: No – I just want someone who can put me in check when I need it…
Jorge: How do you know when you need it?
Needless to say, that conversation went back and forth for a good thirty minutes and I still didn't understand her point. Lady definitely was an opinionated woman who would argue anyone down who dared defy her thoughts (even if they were wrong) but yet she wanted a man that the ability to quell her opinion. Scenarios like that generally end up in bad situations – just because you can never be sure when he/she wants to be subdued. In the real world, no does not always mean no. Sometimes no just means not now, but maybe after more "assistance".
I am not the dude that is about to suffer the consequences of misconceptions.
I meant yeah, but I said no – you're supposed to know the difference. How is one supposed to decipher what the difference is? Is today Reverse Day, like bad is good? This frustrates me to no end but I can't say that I haven't submitted to that way of bass-ackwards thinking either. In certain situations, I have been prone to pull a "you should know" out of my pocket…
Nevertheless, the blog today is not about what I feel – it's about sparking conversation. Does no always mean no? When is OK for it to be yes? How does one know the difference? Speak your mind...
- Jorge
Women are contradictory. Sad, but true. Of course we want to be women of our words and we wanted people to respect the decisions we've made so that we can feel validated. But, when it comes to our men, we secretly want someone that can stand up to us and see through our veils of indecisiveness.
ReplyDeleteSure, she says 'no' sometimes, but the trick is to see through that 'no' to the 'Take me Big Boy, I'm all yours' that's underneath.
What happens when a no starts off as a yes? Does the no hold more weight? DO men have the same ability?
ReplyDeleteman she's trippin. not taking no for an answer is something you incorporate into the business world... not a relationship. if she's looking for a man who won't take her nonsense, why not just get rid of the nonsense. i had an old flame call the other month and say 'i just called to see if you'd answer, you don't have to call back' and, naturally... i didn't. she called me 81 times the next tuesday (my phone wasn't on me, but it counts missed calls) to complain about why i didn't call her. 'you told me not to if i didn't want to. so i didn't'
ReplyDeletesome women tend to think the more they piss off a dude, the more he'll want her to piss him off. i am not anyone's daddy (that i know of) so i do not like putting a girl in check. if it's to get attention, shit just run across the room wearing nothing but socks and a scrunchie, guaranteed that'll get my mind off of whatever's going on, unless it's the Finals or NFC championship game or somethin. way to go jorge, don't let her take your mind off of the Heat's victory
I don't quite understand the whole "i said this but you should know i meant that" makes absolutely no sense...if you would just say what the hell you want there would be no confusion...right? To expect someone to read your mind is ridiculous...see...this is why I think women are nucking futs
ReplyDeleteMe either - it's quite puzzling...
ReplyDeleteThats a tough one cause silly girls are sometimes just that SILLY GIRLS. We say no, but we are wanting & waiting for someone (a guy that we like) to convince us otherwise, to show that he cares. I know, its kinda 8th grade. To answer your question, HELL IF I KNOW!!!
ReplyDeleteIT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE WOMEN ARE THE MASTERS OF SAYIN SOMETHING AND MEANING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.... ITS LIKE WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP WHEN SHE ASKS FOR SOME WATER.... THEY JUST WANT TO BE HEARD AND NOT ANSWERED...
ReplyDeleteYou tell em, won fish....but.... err...a scrunchie????? teeheehee
ReplyDeleteI don't have the answer to your questions because I'm just as confused at times. I do know, however, that this situation doesn't only apply to women. I'm encountered men who've wanted me to be a mind reader and, when I didn't catch the clues, they got mad at me. I have one friend who used to wait months down the line to tell me he was mad about something. "Remember that time 6 months ago when we were driving around and were gonna get something to eat, but then u said u weren't really hungry? I said I wasn't hungry either, and we didn't eat. The truth is I was actually hungry and I was mad because u didn't know." Okay, I'm exaggerating about this particular story, but a lot of times his frustrations with me would be over crazy stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe this is just a problem that women have. I beleive men do the same thing. In fact I know they do.
ReplyDeleteI am a big component of say what you mean and mean what you say. It took some aging to get to that point. But right now I am so straight to the cut with no chaser... I don't have the time nor desire to deal with Bullsh*&%.
The last time I checked most people are not mind readers. So to avoid drama I have learned to say what I mean and mean what I say. Love is so much easier that way.
ReplyDeleteThe problem comes when you tell a man how you feel about XYZ when you haven't figured it out yet yourself. In those cases it is better to nothing than to say something you will reget.
Hello Jorge? You must have REALLY been into the game that day. That conversation that you had with your Lady friend had NOTHING to do with the question of 'does no mean no?'.
ReplyDeleteYour friend does not want a mind reader. She wants an opinionated man like herself. She has probably come across some men that were intimidated my her opinions, and either gave up on the relationship or got dull quickly. Any woman who is able to barrel-over and control a man with her thoughts and opinions is considered to be boring after some period of time.
She probably wants a guy who also has a strong personality and can go toe to toe with her in debates and the like. She needs a challenge. An intellectual equal. Sometimes (and I know it sounds reeealy craaazy) a take-charge man who has no problem expressing his opinions, even with his lady, can be a turn on.
A nice sensitive guy who is chivalrous, caring, a good listener, intelligent, good-looking, ambitious, etc.. is important. But a lady also likes to know that she's with a man, and not a push-over.
Am I wrong, Jorge? Is that not what makes a woman attractive to you at times? Someone that has her own opinions and challenges you to think outside the box? Someone who's a little different? Someone that doesn't allow you to just 'get by' with them easily?
One day, she'll meet a dude that compliments her, and you'll see exactly what she's been trying to tell you. They may bicker and fight. Agree and disagree. But she'll love it, because it will keep their relationship interesting and fun.
I don't know. I guess I'm just talkin. - nb