perfect ten.

So, women ask me all the time: "What are guys looking for in a woman?" Well, not really. But they're asking somebody. And I feel compelled to answer. In honor of Valentine’s Day (and Pimp Hand’s ranking system), I’ve decided to compile a list of traits that make the ideal mate.

10. Independence
No man wants a woman they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if she’s had a rough day at work, it’s great to be her shoulder to cry on, but if she can’t seem to wipe her butt without you handing her the toilet paper, she will eventually make you feel like you’re suffocating, which is a surefire way to get you running out the nearest exit. On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet, both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you - while still missing you, of course - then she must be a great woman.

9. Intelligent
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the ditzy dumb-blonde chick routine gets real old, real fast. Instead of being the one in total control, you’ll find yourself trying to figure out what she’s really thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers (or if she’s actually thinking at all). An intelligent woman will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. She won’t let you get bored of her. Besides, it’s nice to have something to talk about between all that toe-curling, spine-busting sex.

8. Sexual
While we’re on the topic, a great woman has to be sexually compatible (freaky-deeky, if you’re nasty) with you. For instance, if you’re into some freaky, nasty froggy-style agendas and she’s more the “hold each other until the sun comes up” type, that’s a problem. The two of you have to be on the same page (or, at least, she has to be willing to wear a smile with some whipped cream from time to time). Of course, this doesn’t imply that she has to know all the precise moves right away; it simply means that you and she have an undeniable attraction toward each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer - whatever the case may be.

7. Attractive
I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great woman will not only want to look good for you, but also for her. She should always look her best and be well put together - matching draws is a definite plus (we notice when you put that work in). Men have to be proud to have their women on their arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn’t mean that she has to be a Halle Berry clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think her svelte figure [phat ass] or uncontrollable curls [nappy kitchen] are beautiful, you’re allowed.

6. Respect
This is very important. Your woman must respect you. This means that she listens to you, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with what you’re saying. And, of course, she never tries to humiliate or demean you in any way, shape or form. A phenomenal woman won’t ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If she respects you, chances are that she will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.

5. Non-Controlling
Do not - I repeat – DO NOT get involved with a woman who tries to get you to eat goat cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that you give up playing basketball with the boys, cartoons and video games. You will end up resenting her more than you can imagine. A good woman lets you be a guy in all your glory, dirty draws and all. If she’s a great woman, she’ll even bring you and your homeboys some sandwiches (I can wish, can’t I?). She has to understand that men and women are different and should allow you to be yourself. Just like you wouldn’t deprive her of going shopping with her girls, she shouldn’t expect you to give up the crew for her.

4. Non-Complainer
There is nothing worse someone who nags! A great woman knows this and chooses her battles wisely. She knows when to speak up and when to let it slide. You don’t want a woman who will give you hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally. However, if you’re shacking up and you stay out all night without calling her, and she lets you have it, then you’re setting yourself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide - not even a great woman.

3. Pleasant
A great woman will not only help your mother in the kitchen, listen to your long stories about nothing and hang out with your friends, but she will enjoy it. She’ll make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in your life. And she won’t try to get you to ditch your best friends. She’ll actually empathize with your homeboy getting dumped and suggest that the crew take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but your friends won’t roll their eyes and moan when you mention that she’ll be joining y’all when she gets off work (yes, women like this do exist).

2. Loving
If you have found a woman who loves you for who you really are and not who you pretend or try to be sometimes, you should definitely hang on to her. A woman who doesn’t try to change you is hard to find. Of course, all women have their slightly annoying habits (leaving a drop of juice in the fridge) that their mate has to contend with, but if she really loves you, she will be able to cope with these. Another way to know if she really loves you is by observing the way she looks at you and treats you on an on a daily basis. If the sight of you doesn’t seem to faze her either way, and she doesn’t really seem to care about what you have to say, she’s either playing very hard to get, or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from you makes her light up, there’s no denying that she loves you.

1. She makes you want to be a better man.
Stop making that face… any man who has a great woman or wife will tell you that she makes him want to be a better man. She doesn’t have to say or do anything; it just is that way. If you suddenly feel bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation for doing so. It could be love.

Ladies, remember to have an opinion. Have an interest. Have a sense of humor. Have a brain. Be smart, be witty, but avoid being a [insert expletive]. Challenge us, but not too much. The male ego is a fragile thing. Be like Destiny’s Child – cater to us sometimes; we will definitely return the favor…

See? It's not so difficult. Well, it ain’t easy either…but at least it's not that hard. Hit these things up and I guarantee we’ll be happy…

Holla at me on how you feel… get at me
next time (V-Day).

- Jorge