It’s that time again, folks – graduation time. In the next few weeks, I will be a travelin’ man, attending several of these events, celebrating the achievements of many deserving students, listening to several variations of Pomp and Circumstance and stuffy speakers rambling like characters on Charlie Brown…
Yes, these times are filled with excitement, joy – and relief. Relief – for students that these damn classes are finally finished and that you can actually make some money [Wise words from Jorge to the graduates – it’s not that exciting to make money when you accrue just as many bills]. There is also relief to the parents – relief that they don’t have to spend their money on exorbitant tuition fees, books you’ll barely open and care packages filled with Ramen Noodles, Tang and Cheese Nips.
All in all, graduations are the culmination of hard work, effort, and perseverance throughout your matriculation (although some folks are just cheering that they still have livers from all the liquor they consumed on the weekends) – so it’s natural for there to be excitement when the graduate receives his/her diploma. However, some families out there should be ashamed by their actions – especially the ones I saw yesterday.
I attended my alma mater’s graduation ceremonies yesterday (I always go for the entertainment factor – HBCU’s [Historically Black Colleges/Universities] will always provide a great show). It was held outside on the campus lawn under a tent (which was very appropriate for the circus that I viewed). I saw lions, tigers and other foreign animals prominently displayed – unfortunately, it was all over people’s clothing… but I am digressing.
I am really here to provide some proper etiquette for attending graduations… so without further adieu, here it is: the 2006 Jorge Mateo Edition of Not Embarrassing Yourself or Your Family at Graduation.
Do not bring more people than tickets.
It’s not cool seeing people get turned away from the door, trying to gain entrance for 24 family members on only 10 tickets – but it does help for scalping… which I saw several non-graduates attempting to do yesterday.
Do not bring food or liquor to the ceremonies.
No one wants to hear Willie n’ dem, cheering for the wrong graduate seven times, while smelling like a mixture of Extra Tasty Crispy and MD 20/20.
Do not bring any signs, bullhorns, tambourines, kazoos or noisemakers of any kind.
This is a graduation, not Game 7 of the NBA Finals – leave the horns in the car for the wedding.
Do not attempt to squeeze a 16 into a 6.
This could be a tragedy in the making. If a button pops off, you could be charged with attempted murder by assaulting with a deadly figure.
Do not be late.
Do I really need to explain this one?
Do not get into a fist fight.
See above statement.
Follow these rules and we’ll all be happier in the long run – and I can keep my lunch down. That’s enough out of me – I have to get back on the grind. Talk to you soon…
- Jorge
Yes, these times are filled with excitement, joy – and relief. Relief – for students that these damn classes are finally finished and that you can actually make some money [Wise words from Jorge to the graduates – it’s not that exciting to make money when you accrue just as many bills]. There is also relief to the parents – relief that they don’t have to spend their money on exorbitant tuition fees, books you’ll barely open and care packages filled with Ramen Noodles, Tang and Cheese Nips.
All in all, graduations are the culmination of hard work, effort, and perseverance throughout your matriculation (although some folks are just cheering that they still have livers from all the liquor they consumed on the weekends) – so it’s natural for there to be excitement when the graduate receives his/her diploma. However, some families out there should be ashamed by their actions – especially the ones I saw yesterday.
I attended my alma mater’s graduation ceremonies yesterday (I always go for the entertainment factor – HBCU’s [Historically Black Colleges/Universities] will always provide a great show). It was held outside on the campus lawn under a tent (which was very appropriate for the circus that I viewed). I saw lions, tigers and other foreign animals prominently displayed – unfortunately, it was all over people’s clothing… but I am digressing.
I am really here to provide some proper etiquette for attending graduations… so without further adieu, here it is: the 2006 Jorge Mateo Edition of Not Embarrassing Yourself or Your Family at Graduation.
Do not bring more people than tickets.
It’s not cool seeing people get turned away from the door, trying to gain entrance for 24 family members on only 10 tickets – but it does help for scalping… which I saw several non-graduates attempting to do yesterday.
Do not bring food or liquor to the ceremonies.
No one wants to hear Willie n’ dem, cheering for the wrong graduate seven times, while smelling like a mixture of Extra Tasty Crispy and MD 20/20.
Do not bring any signs, bullhorns, tambourines, kazoos or noisemakers of any kind.
This is a graduation, not Game 7 of the NBA Finals – leave the horns in the car for the wedding.
Do not attempt to squeeze a 16 into a 6.
This could be a tragedy in the making. If a button pops off, you could be charged with attempted murder by assaulting with a deadly figure.
Do not be late.
Do I really need to explain this one?
Do not get into a fist fight.
See above statement.
Follow these rules and we’ll all be happier in the long run – and I can keep my lunch down. That’s enough out of me – I have to get back on the grind. Talk to you soon…
- Jorge
I think all college graduations should be held in arenas large enough to accomodate anyone that wants to come.
ReplyDeleteMy aunts and uncles had a fit when I was only given 5 tickets. A university graduation is a big deal - your loved ones wanna be there to give you props too.
Now Jorge, having matriculated form our infamous institution of higher learning,why would you assume that just becuase graduation should be handled alot better that it is,that this year or even the next year will produce an affair worth attending?Anyway,Unless you are walking across the stage,graduation doesn't have to accomodate you.What I hate is how people get irritated when they can't attend graduation but they were the same haters the years you were in school trying to downplay the very education you are trying to celerate having achieved.When I finally(one more balsted class to go) am done,I AM NOT WALKING!!! I will have suffered by myself and choose to the celebrate by myself.As for my parent and family ,they can celebrate in knowing that they won't have me mooching off of them b/c of my education
ReplyDeleteBritt, I see that happen every year... most families are clamoring for tickets to get in and some jerk-off who has no family, is laughing his ass off because he made 300 dollars that day.
ReplyDeleteLady, lady, lady - walk - you deserve it!
dangit brit!!
ReplyDeletei was sposta be the first response to this one. now i'll NEVER get to be the first.
sorry jorge, can't comment too much on the HBCU thing... my commencement experience was so boring i actually fell asleep during the ceremony (there was apparently a very interesting recitation in latin from one of our highest ranked students... how could i miss it!?)
Wow! That picture of the size 16 into a size 6 was umm.....not pretty. Yeah Universities need to hold the graduations in larger arenas. I graduated from Purdue University and was only given 4 tickets! I had to ask everyone I knew and post signs and everything to try and get some extra tickets.
ReplyDeleteNo you didnt pull of the pic of the Mad Dog 20/20?!?!? We are all grown and sexy now, no more mad dog for me please!!!
ReplyDeleteU mean u don't wanna see Big Bonquisha, Tae-Tae and 'nem squeezing into their size 4 club dresses when they know they're really a size 24? U don't want all that thickness in your face as they squeeze past you 1.5 hours after the ceremony's started to get to the seat right next to u? U don't like the way the 8ball makes them scream random sh*t at the oddest moments when everyone else is quiet. "Yeah, La La!!! That's my cousin ya'll!"..."Who gives a f&*k?!" is what ur thinking, but ur scared to say it because she'll beat that azz. Even though these things annoy you, you love it because it provides entertainment. Otherwise, what else would u have to talk about after the ceremony?
ReplyDeletesorry, ish - you're number 1 in my book, though... it's really not a huge difference between HBCU's and other universities (I've graduated from both)... because we all have family members who love us too hard to a fault and want to celebrate hard for you and the rest of the people on the block - CUZ YOU MADE IT!
ReplyDeleteshandis - There were some healthy aunties out there...
canela - My sentiments, exactly... except I got tackled by somebody's uncle because I was about to walk into the camera view while someone was taking a picture...
ashy - I agree... no more Skol either... too many hangovers from that!
I feel you. And my Mad Dog days are definitely over. I don't know how we used to drink that sh*t. Anyway, I feel you ladychameleon, when I'm done with grad-school, I AM NOT WALKING. If for no other reason, it costs too damn much.
ReplyDeleteJorge, you forgot the rules for students:
1) Please refrain from talking on your cel phone while you are seated AND while you're walking across the stage.
2) Please refrain from blowing up beach balls and tapping them (through the air) across the seating area.
3) AND finally, PLEASE get drunk AFTER the ceremony. NOT BEFORE and/or DURING.
Well, well, well....I never had the ticket problem...except at Whitney Young. My graduations were in the arena.
ReplyDeleteI may have been ghetto fab by requesting that all of my guests wear pink. Nonetheless, it was cute.
We talked and cracked jokes the entire time. Not to mention in undergrad how all of the "us" sat together and began to chant "I ain't neva scared" and dance as the ceremony came to a close.
I'm waiting to see who will be the first kid to "lean wit it" or footwork across the stage. I love seasons such as this!
I'm not sure who's worse..HBCUs or PWIs.
Ain't nothin' wrong with a sign, Jorge. How else are you gonna be able to find your family so you can wave at them on your way in, at your seat, across the stage, etc. ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I'm gonna attend my PSU graduation, but I can imagine how crazy the students will be. Probably a lot crazier than at A&T!!!
Great site lots of usefull infomation here.
ReplyDelete»